I survived.

I can't believe that I am graduating. I did it.. I survived the trials and triumphs of nursing school while my entire life was falling apart. I look back on it now and I find humor in the irony of doing my psych clinical rotation at the same time all the personal BS in my life began. I like to think that it was therapeutic for me and maybe I wouldn't have survived my shit show of a life if I hadn't been in nursing school.. maybe I would've downed my two bottles of freshly refilled medication on one of those many lonely nights that I sat in my car and contemplated doing it. Somehow I found it in me to keep on going. To wake up and try to survive all over again until nightfall when I would sit in my car face to face with such an easy way out. I know people were watching and waiting for me to fail. And I know that some people are bitter that I didn't fall flat on my face. And graduating with honors is just icing on the cake.

Bittersweet

Less than one week until pinning, three more days of getting up and going to school, one more exam. I can't believe how quickly the time has gone by. All of the haters who were secretly waiting for me fail and all of the disbelievers who doubted me.. well guess what? I made it! So sorry to disappoint you.

Resolution has been achieved

I will be graduating with my maiden name. After hearing my "in a nutshell" life story, the woman in the registrar's office told me that she would make sure that it gets changed it on my diploma!

Never again

Just got my paper work in the mail, signed by the judge. As of March 28th I've been officially divorced.. two days before the one year of me living in my car.  I'm never getting married again. Yes, I'm jaded.

One last physical

At the beginning of this semester, my instructors briefly made mention that they encourage us to book personal observations while we are still students and still have that opportunity. I wouldn't have taken them seriously had I not marched in the office of the nursing chair and confessed how bored I was with everything and begged to do just one clinical day in the emergency room.  That's when she started putting ideas in my head. My first choice was, of course, to do a fly along on a chopper. Then I decided that I'll have plenty of time for that since it's what I want to do with my nursing career. I do have an underlying love for forensics. Before trauma came into my life, I used to want to be some sort of forensic nurse. I can work with that. So, I booked an autopsy and got to see FOUR cases! I'm pretty sure I have some sort of post traumatic something, but it was still cool as hell!

Chivalry is dead

Today's snow storm (of course it being the day the "last" day of winter) didn't stop me from making the trek to the court house to begin the process of moving forward with the divorce.  I took it a lot better than I thought I was going to.  The whole thing went relatively well.. until he pissed me off, on the way out of the building, when he let the door go and it almost hit me in the face.  And of course the Stacieism that fell out of my face this time was, "I guess chivalry is fucking dead."  Would those of you who know me, expect anything other than that?  I didn't think so.

Reassure me

Today is the last day of classes before spring break.  Only eight more weeks left of school.  I can't believe this journey is almost over!  I'm looking forward to the last weeks of med-surge.  I found out from the head of the nursing program that if I can arrange a medflight observation during the remainder of the semester, I can do that instead of going to clinical at the hospital for a day.  I also have the opportunity to shadow a nurse in ICU/CCU.  I have some good opportunities available and I hope that I'm able to take full advantage of them.  I'm bored and I want to do something in school that will reassure me of my plans for my future nursing career.  I'm excited and I can't wait to be done!!