no more quizzes

I didn't make it to class last night thanks to my lovely immune system that is constantly letting me down. I've been sick since the begining of the week and continued to go to work and school. I didn't give myself enough time to rest. I sent my teacher a last minute email a couple hours before class started. I'm sure she'll understand. She has two little kids at home and I'm sure she wouldn't want to bring my germs home to them.
Tuesday night my A&PII teacher gave us some good news. No more quizzes! And if we do have any more they will be take home quizzes. But we still have our exam this up coming Tuesday. Sigh.

taking the bad to get the good

Recently I had two papers to write for my human growth and development class (HG&D). My teacher allows us to use resources, whether it's the news, magazines, internet, or encyclopedia. However, with this class, resources are not my style. She told us in the begining that the class will be about opinions. And people who know me well enough know just how opinionated I am or can be. The first paper we got to choose one topic out of the four she gave us. None of them really interested me, but I ended up going with "Having two parents is always better than having one." We had to agree or disagree with whatever topic we chose. I pulled off an A- with that paper. At the bottom of my essay she wrote, "Resources?" I'm assuming that's why I got the A- and not an A, but I wrote my paper strictly based on my own thoughts and perspectives. I was tempted to question my grade, but then I realized that after my B- lab practical, an A- is acceptable. The second paper we had to choose a side. "Do parents matter more than peers?" This one was easy for me. And once again I based it on my own opinions as well as my own life experiences. I'm thinking that my own life experiences is what got me an A. I'm still not happy with my lab practical grade. But, if I have to get one so-so grade to get two good grades, I guess I can live with that.

try harder next time

I am slacking with this blog, big time! These summer classes keep me insanely busy! Keeping up with A&P II seems almost impossible. I'm not doing nearly as well as I'd like, but some how I am managing to keep my head above water. I did great on the first exam. The exam I didn't know about until ten minutes before class when one of my classmates mentioned that he thought we had an exam that day. I pulled out the class outline and sure enough.. exam 1. I just about fainted when I read that! I hadn't studied for it at all. So I pulled out my notes and briefly went through whatever I could before it was time to actually take the exam. I don't know how I did it, but I was able to pull a 92.5 out of my butt! And my teacher gave us a chance for extra credit to bring our exam grades up a few points. Whatever questions we got wrong, we were able to correct them for half the points of whatever the questions were worth. But we also had to give a small explanation as to why or how our new answer is the correct one. So I was able to bring my grade up to a 95.
Recently, we just had our first lab practical. I was pretty sure that I had failed it, but then again I say or think that about every quiz, test, or exam that I take. We got our grades back a few days ago. I didn't fail it, but I'm not exactly thrilled with my grade. Sure an 82.5 is still passing... but it's not an A. It's not what I am used to. I was told yesterday at work by one of the nurses that I need to get over it (being upset with my grade) real quick. At first I was kind of angered by what was said to me, but the more I thought about it, the more she was right. I can't keep dwelling on every so-so grade that I get. I need to accept it, move on, and try harder next time.

Mental Health Week

I'm on vacation! Not that I have anywhere exciting to go or anything special to do. I put in for vacation thinking that I would be working bike week again this year, until I signed up for summer classes. Knowing how important it is that I hurry up and finish school, I decided to skip out on bike week after my vacation had already been approved. I tried to take it back but the nurse who does the schedule wouldn't let me. She told me that I work really hard and now with the added stress of school I need to atleast use this as a mental health week. I suppose she is right. I'm just not sure what to do with myself. I can only study for so long before I start to go crazy. And since it IS bike week the weather has been rainy and crappy so I can't even go to the beach and relax. Today I get to pick my brother up from work in an hour and then take him with me to go visit our grandparents. Then when I drop him off at home I have to bring one of my mom's dogs to the groomer and pick him up when he's ready. Then I get to come back home and do some laundry and cleaning... then some more studying. Something tells me that this vacation is going to be a waste of earned time.

Procrastination Station

It's that time again. Back to school today. I don't feel as though I'm ready for it. To be honest.. I'm actually really nervous to be taking A&P II. Especially with a different teacher. I'm afraid that this one may not offer chances for extra credit like my A&P I teacher did. Extra credit is what got me an A.
I also know that I won't be able to visit Aunt Marie that much over the summer while going to school three nights a week and working full time. And that breaks my heart. I'm just so afraid she's going to think that I don't care about her anymore. I just know that I can't afford to fail school. I need to get through it, graduate, and be able to provide for my husband a whole lot better than I am able to right now.
Since I have been procrastinating, getting my school stuff ready, all day.. I suppose I should go get a move on it right now.

Ridding regret

Now that spring semester has finished, and I have a couple of weeks off before summer classes start, I have had some extra free time. Time to go fishing with Tony. That is always the highlight of our summers. Time to catch up on cleaning the apartment. Time to catch up on laundry. Too much time to think. Lately I have been thinking about Aunt Marie. I haven't had a visit with her since she was admitted at the hospital I work at. Ever since she went to the nursing home I haven't gone to visit with her. I haven't been able to find the courage to choke back my tears, get in the car, and drive to her. Until tonight.
The last few weeks I have been walking around with a weight of guilt on my chest. The more I thought about Aunt Marie, and stopped myself from visiting her, the heavier it would get. Today, after I got home from work, I sat down and thought long and hard about my decision to not visit her just because I can't handle it. I realized how unfair and selfish I am being. I also realized that time isn't going to stop, or even slow down, and wait for me to get up the strength to face her. She is dying and the clock keeps ticking. I think about the regret and guilt that I live with everyday for not seeing my Pepere as much as I should have or could have. Do I really want to double that?? No. I don't. Which is why I went to visit Aunt Marie tonight.
When I got to the nursing home and found a place to park, I couldn't get out of the car. I sat there.. scared. Terrified of how much worse she may look since the last time I saw her. Worried that she may have gotten so bad that she wouldn't be able to recognize who I am. I sat in my car and cried. After about 10 minutes, or what felt like an eternity, I pulled myself together. Wiped my tears away. And went inside. I walked into her room to find her sleeping. I was so thankful for that. I hadn't even thought about what I'd say to her if she had been awake. She's dying.. so what good would it do to ask her how she's doing?? I stood at the foot of her bed and began to sob again. Only for a minute though, in fear that she'd hear me and wake up. I sat down in a chair near her bed and just stared at her. Wondering why or how something so horrible could happen to such a wonderful woman. That's when she slightly opened her eyes. I smiled and waved to her. Her eyes closed and she fell back asleep. I had to fight the urge to run out of her room and burst into tears. Her eyes opened again.. this time completely. She looked at me.. smiled.. and reached out to me for a hug. We chit chatted for about 30 minutes and then an awkward silence set in. I told her I had to go home and make dinner and that I would be back tomorrow morning. I don't really want to go. I hate seeing her like this. But if I don't go, then I'd be lying. Lying to my aunt that used to be a nun. As I leaned over to give her a hug, she pulled me in close and told me how great it was to see me. I could even hear it in her voice. It meant alot to her. And that made me cry even more when I got back to my car.
I keep asking my Pepere to give me the strength I need to get through these tough times. It's so hard letting go, but I know that I will have one more angel watching over me when she passes. Another angel to watch over me, guide me, and help me through all the tough times ahead.

I passed!

I just found out my final grades in A&P I and Statistics. In A&P I needed a total of 930 points (out of 1,000) to get an A. My final grade of 961 points has made me more than happy! I passed Stats with a B+. I was kind of hoping to get atleast an A- but I suppose a B+ isn't so bad considering I had to teach myself the material the entire semester. These grades have given me a 3.65 GPA. I'm not thrilled about it since I was able to maintain a 3.8 GPA when I was attending Hesser. But then again I didn't have the stress that I do now... back then my husband was deployed.. which I suppose that doesn't make sense either because a deployment as a newlywed is beyond stressful.
I have two whole weeks off from school before my summer classes start. You would think that I'd enjoy the time off, but instead I have already started looking at the next few chapters for A&P II and I have even started labeling the diagrams in my lab book for those chapters. I want to be ahead of the game. I want a higher GPA. I want a better job. I want to be a medflight nurse. I want to be great at what I'm good at!