Looking back on my life over the last couple of years, I have realized who I am truly thankful for. If it wasn't for these people, I never would have survived. I find it amazing that sometimes, in the most crowded of rooms, I can still feel so alone. Yet these people, to be mentioned, have always been in the back of mind, no matter how little hope I had left, they were always there for me. Wanting nothing more than to see me succeed. Some folks have photos and some don't, and I know I will (unintentionally) leave some people out, so please don't take offense if I do not list you in this posting. I know there were more people waiting to see me succeed than there were who were waiting for me to fail.
In all fairness, it starts off with the two human beings who gave me life. The two people who never wanted anything but the best for me. Although I was the middle child, the black sheep, I was their first to actually graduate with a degree. Due to personal reasons, I just recently had to move back in with them. They have been nothing but supportive. They took my dog in and watched him for me when I wasn't allowed to have him where I was staying. They paid for me to take my boards as well as reciprocity in another state. They have bent over backwards for me and I appreciate them far more than they will ever know. I love you mom and dad!!
Robyn, one of the best carpool buddies ever. Not enough coffee in the morning as we waited for stop signs to turn green on early morning drives to clinical. Her cheery disposition (although some days was too much for me to handle) kept me going when things got rough. She made quite the study buddy and always fed my face since I was always too broke to do it myself. I love her to death.
Honey badger don't give a shit. Melissa went above and beyond and took me in when I spent the night in my car with one of my dogs because once again, I wasn't allowed to have him where I was staying. I am determined person and don't give up on what matters most to me. Her adorable 2 year old has given me the nickname "Kiki" which I wouldn't mind holding onto that for the rest of my life. She put up with me, a puppy, and took care of her own child. It takes a special kind of person to do that and she will forever hold a place in my heart.
My sister, who could never be here for me in person, was always just a phone call away when I needed someone to talk some sense into me.. especially when I felt like giving up on anything and everything. Those phone calls and face timings mean more to me than she will ever know and I can't wait until I can see her in person again. She's the other half of my heart and I would be lost without her in my life. Although I posted a graduation "selfie" photo, pay close attention to my tassels. My sister could, once again, not be there in person so I went out and got a charm that says "Sisters" and attached it to one of my tassels so that I could at least have her there in spirit. That's how much she means to me and how often I think about her. I love you sis!
My two little brown boys. My babies, since I don't have kids and most likely never will. But there's no reason to get into those details on this kind of post. These two dogs are my world and they are pretty much all I have left. I am determined to give them the best life possible and spoil the rotten shit out of them. They had just a tad bit reasoning behind my motivation and determination to get through school. Reunited and it feels so good. Whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend, obviously never owned a dog.
I know that this is a little too late, considering his whole family hates me and he was torn apart feeling like he had to choose between me or them.. so I made it easy for him. I made the decision and walked out of his life last night. There's a giant hole in my heart now that will take quite a bit of time to heal, but I can't disclose him from this post. He took me in and gave me a place to stay so that I wasn't living in a car again. He loved me, he cared about me. He stopped me from pulling all of my hair out when school and life became too stressful for me to handle. He tolerated my mood swings. We had our good days and bad days.. but clearly I had far too many bad days and his family thinks I use that to throw a pity party for myself. No pity party here. I lived in a car for two solid months and still passed my classes while dealing with the sketchiness that came with it all, especially forgetting to lock the car doors at night when it was time to sleep. He made me feel loved and he made me feel safe. And there's nothing I can do to ever repay him for that. I will always care deeply about him regardless of how things have just turned out between us.
I'm thankful for the beauty of all that nature has to offer. The places that I can go to do some real soul searching and collect my thoughts and analyze my life. I never thought I'd see the day when my life would depend on the morning sun.
The car you drive has a large windshield, but only a relatively small rearview mirror. The implication is obvious: What happened in your past is not nearly as important as what is in your future. Where you are going is much more important than where you've been.
~Strength and determination never comes natural, it's something you choose*
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