Day 2

I started my morning off in the usual way.  I don't think I need to explain that routine anymore.  All that's necessary is the beautiful morning snap shot.

Today, we learned about ambulation and mobility.  A physical therapist joined us for lab and demostrated how to move patients, get them out of bed, how to use a wheelchair, etc.  For me, this was torture.  I have been doing it for nine years now while working at the hospital.  I understand, some people have little to no healthcare experience, and they do need to learn this stuff.  My level of frustration is increasing already.  I know I will regret saying this, but, I am ready for a challenge.  Possibly due to my eagerness to learn or my determination to succeed?  Whatever the case may be, I am ready for new knowledge.
As far as the reading assignment.. it's brutal.  I have been reading my textbook outloud to the dogs.  I have even used different voices in an attempt to make it a little more interesting.  However, all three dogs fell asleep despite my attempts at being their comedic relief.

I'm starting to remind myself of my father.  Back in the day, when my sister and I were very young, my dad's idea of a bedtime story was reading his civil engineering books to us.  I'm already going crazy and it's only day two.  Sigh.

Day 1

Day one of my journey through nursing school and I lived through it.  The most difficult task today was surviving the boredom of going over the course introduction and syllabus.  Which is really all that ever occurs on the first day of a new class.  It's painful, yet I know it has to be done.  We all got little gift bags from the senior nursing students, which was very kind and thoughtful of them.  At the end of the class, the instructors handed out our clinical totes.  Most of us found it to be the most exciting part of the day.  However, my tracheostomy kit was damaged during shipping, causing something inside to start leaking.  Luckily we won't need that until our second year, so the instructors have plenty of time to send it back and get me a new one.
We've already been given our first reading assignment of about seven or eight chapters.  Bleh!  It's like having to make an appointment with the dentist.  Unless, of course, you enjoy going to the dentist.  If that's the case then please feel free to do all of my reading for me.  Any takers? 

Life is beautiful

Today is beautiful.  Since the storm yesterday, things have returned to normal, atleast in my neck of the woods.  As I stepped outside, coffee in hand, I looked around.  No houses were damaged, no trees down, and no flooding.  The guy who lives across the street is carrying on with his self owned business, the flowers along the driveway are soaking in the sun, the cars are once again flying relentlessly up and down the street, the once colorless sky is as blue as blue can be, and the beautiful American flag in the neighbor's yard continues to fly with pride.  It's kind of crazy.  I sit down here every morning and all I ever notice is the sunrise and how spectacular it is.. or isn't.  This morning is different.  I am noticing everything around me that is beautiful.  And I am realizing that everything around me, simply put, is life.  I get it now.  Life is beautiful.  Maybe it took the threat of a hurricane to teach me this.  But at the same time, the words of a life long friend from down south, Miss Julie, keep ringing in the back of my mind.  She has been keeping up with me, and my hectic life, by reading my blog.  (I guess more people read this darn thing than I thought).  She sent me a message a few days ago.  I haven't replied to her yet because every time I try to, I end up reading her words over and over again.  And every time I attempt a reply, I can't find the words.  She has inspired me and I feel as though my words won't have the same affect on her.  I hope she won't mind, but I feel compelled to share her words.  I hope that they can bring you the same inspiration that they brought me.

"Hello Stacie

Sounds like you are stressing out to the max hon. Nursing school is a great choice for you as it will allow you to share some of that love in your big heart with many people who need it. It is ALOT of work! It may seem overwhelming right now. Take one thing at a time and trust that it will get you through.
I am very proud of the young woman I have seen you become...if even from a distance. I have Faith that you will make it through nursing school and become an amazing nurse. Stacie....someday ...when life slows down a bit....I think you may want to consider writting as well. You have a beautiful way with words! Your Blog speaks from heart to heart!
I am going to ask you a favor....one more thing to add to your already full days. I would like you to take a few extra moments each day to remember that getting to your goals is actually as important as reaching them. The journey and how we make it there and what we learn from it make up our memories. Enjoy the friends you meet, the support from Tony, the cuddles from the pups and each of those morning sunrises with coffee. Know these are all gifts in your life....so open them with relish! Ask God to help with the stress....the workload....and just do the best you can!
It will be enough and will be your thankyou gift each day to God!
Don't worry....Be Happy girl!
Love you
Miss Julie"

Irene has arrived.

There is quite the disturbance, this morning, in my usual routine.  Instead of sipping my coffee and watching the sunrise, I am sipping my coffee, staring at the colorless sky, and watching as we get nailed with the outer bands of hurricane Irene. 

I stayed up until 2 AM watching the weather channel so I decided to not set my alarm for 5am.  I woke up on my own around 8 this morning.  The rain was barely coming down at that time which allowed me to wander outside and snap a quick picture of my biggest concern during this storm.

The tall trees, up on the hill, behind our home.  Tony and I get worried, sometimes, even during a nasty routine thurnderstorm.  So, with winds from a hurricane/tropical storm, my concerns are justified.  I still have my doubts about exactly how bad this storm is going to be and the damage it may bring.  However, we still developed a plan incase one of those trees does happen to come down on our home.  We parked my car in the garage, and if things start getting really ugly around here, we will put the dogs in their kennel and camp out in my car.  I know, it sounds a little silly even to me.  But I suppose it beats hanging out in the living room, which is where the damage will occur by one of those trees if it falls.  I guess what's even more silly are the things that Tony and I packed away in the car.  Our school books.  We're ridiculous, right?  But those books were not cheap at all.  If a tree falls through our roof, things are going to get soaked in here.  School may be canceled for tomorrow, but not for the rest of the semester.  We don't have the $800+ to replace books.
So far, atleast ten deaths have been reported, due to hurricane Irene.  My heart aches for the family and friends of those people.  One death was a little eleven year old boy, a tree fell on his home and killed him.  Also, a woman was killed when a tree came down her car.  This means that despite my doubts and reservations, regarding this storm, I am still cautious.  So, as for me and my family, there will be no driving around to sight see and take pictures.  We will continue snuggling on the couch unless things get bad.

(Simba is always there to love and comfort Bam)

(Little brother watching over his big brother)

(And of course, Sadie girl snuggles with her daddy)



I hate you, Irene.

The first day of school is already canceled!!  All because of a hurricane that may, or may not, hit us.  We survived an earthquake the day of orientation, we can survive a hurricane the first day of school!  In my opinion, everyone is overreacting.  I don't doubt that hurricane Irene is a nasty storm, however, as of this morning it is still way south of us and a category one.  Yesterday, they were saying that by the time it hits us way up here it will be a category 1 or a even just a tropical storm.  It's not even supposed to reach us until tomorrow night!  The winter snow storms are always bad enough to cause cancelations.  Now we already have a day to make up and school hasn't even started yet!  I think that the decision to cancel school was made way too early and I am kind of pissed off about it.

Follow up appointment and my LAST appointment

In a couple of hours I have my follow up colposcopy.  I still don't understand why I need it considering the last one I had was completely normal.  After this appointment I will also be done with this doctor.  I have been less than impressed with him.  Throughout the summer I have also decided to not have the laparoscopy done.  If I do have endometriosis, I'm already on birth control which the treatment for it.  So I'm not going to put my body through the stress of surgery or the chance of infection.  And if it is something serious, hopefully my symptoms will change or get worse before it's too late.  Or maybe the new doctor, I'm hoping to get in with, will know what's going on with me.  I recently took care of a very sweet nurse who works in the special care nursery at the hospital and she had wonderful things to say about the new doc that I want to go see.  When I asked her what she thinks about the doctor I have now her response was, "He's..umm... he's nice."  That comment alone makes me not want to go to my appointment this morning.  Actually, I haven't wanted to go to it all summer long.  I wanted to change to a different doctor after the first colposcopy.  However, I didn't want to walk away and dump my crisis on a new doctor.  I figured it would be in my own best interest to stay with the same doctor until the issue is resolved so that none of my results or paper work would get lost in the shuffle of switching to a different office.  I have decided that if, for some crazy reason, this follow up test does come back abnormal and I need even more testing.. I'm still removing myself from his care and going elsewhere.  "Nice" will get a doctor only so far.  I want a great doctor, nice or not. 

Shake things up a little

So, yesterday was orientation.  I'm happy that it's done and over with.  Like most orientations it was boring. 

Until mother nature decided to shake things up a little bit.  As my classmates and I sat and listened to our nursing instructor, the tables began to rattle and the building shook.  We felt the 5.8 Virginia earthquake.  It wasn't the most comforting feeling especially being up on the third floor of the building.  But we survived it all.  However, the survival of school will be a whole different story.  Course material will be up on blackboard as soon as Saturday, and I have already started studying.  Maybe because I've morphed into a nerd over the last couple years or maybe it's my drive and desire to succeed.  Whatever the case may be, I'm already exhausted and I am sure that it's not a good way to start my first semester of nursing school.  I want nothing more than to sleep as much as I can this weekend, but if I'm busy sleeping then I am missing opportunities to be studying.  I am already pushing myself way too much.  Apparently, the earthquake neglected to shake any common sense into me.  Go figure.

Broken heart syndrome

I've been forcing myself to roll out of bed around 5 in the AM everyday, regardless if I am working or have the day off.  I need to get into a solid sleep schedule before school starts in six days.  My new morning routine consits of gulping down a few cups of coffee (which isn't all that new) while sitting on the front steps watching the sun come up from across the street. 

The sunrise is nothing spectacular this morning (compared to the one in the picture from a few days ago) and damn is it cold out!  I guess when summer gets ready to leave us it doesn't waste any time at all!

As I sit here, shivering and gulping, I can't help but think of the events that unfolded at work last week.  In seven days, we had three cases of takotsubo cardiomyopathy!  And I can't help but wonder if I'm on my way towards the same thing.  In a nutshell, for all of you non-medical readers, takotsubo cardiomyopathy mimics a heart attack on an EKG.  We rush patients to the cardiac cath lab only to find out that their arteries are clear as day and their EKG changes were caused by stress.  This condition is also known as "broken heart syndrome" and it can cause a person to go into cardiac arrest if left undetected and untreated.  So when we're all getting overwhelmed with life and start muttering to ourselves 'this stress is going to be the death of me' or 'this stress is killing me' we are absolutely correct and need to simmer down!  I will be the first to admit that I have no clue how to relax when things get stressful.  And this blog is proof of that.  Or maybe this blog is my escape and that's why I haven't dropped dead yet from a broken heart?  Instead, I just drop to an unhealthy weight and my hair starts falling out.  I guess if that's the worst that will happen to me throughout nursing school then I'm doing alright.  Although I can't be off to a great start if today is only orientation and I already want to throw up.  I'm sure I will be fine once school actually starts and I make it through the first week or two.

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." -Franklin D. Roosevelt

Every day you make progress.

"Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb."


~Sir Winston Churchill

Med Math Night

Last night, the senior nursing students took it upon themselves to host an optional med math night for us freshman nursing students.  After the day I had at work yesterday, I really didn't feel like going.  But with school starting in less than two weeks, I figured it would be in my best interest to get my mojo going now.  They had a few prizes to give to students who volunteered to go up to the board and solve a med math problem.  Who doesn't like to win a prize?  So I happily volunteered and won myself a text book.

As long as this will be required text book for our psych rotation, I will have saved myself $125.  And if it isn't the required edition, then I can always sell it for some pocket change.  Either way, I'm not complaining.

Eleven days

Only eleven days until nursing school starts. I'm scared, but I'm ready.  I'm ready to finally start and get nursing school over and done with.  I'm just not ready to have to give up my daily routines.  My work days never change much.  Every day is the same when it comes to getting up, getting ready, and driving to work.. although sometimes I change my route to work to keep things a little interesting.  My days at work are usually different considering I work in an emergency room and we never know what's going to come through the doors next.  I like my day off routine though.  I wake up, get some coffee going, watch Ellen and giggle every time she dances, then I switch it to the investigation discovery channel, crochet, and cuddle with the pups.  I finally finished Tony's blanket.

My hawk friends have also been back.

And every time I start to feel anxious about school starting, my guardian angels show up and remind me that they are always watching over me.



"You're gonna make it"

Every morning, for the last couple weeks, I wake up and find myself staring at the 40 pounds worth of nursing school books and wonder how I am going to get through it all.. or if I will even get through it all.  And here is the short story of how my already defeatist attitude was changed.

Yesterday, I was fifteen minutes away from finishing my twelve hour shift.  I was paged into an older gentleman's room to help him use a bedside commode.  He was being admitted for a GI bleed.  I didn't realize how bad it was until there was blood all over the floor.  As I stood by the man's side, to make sure he was okay, I realized he was far from being okay.  I watched the color disappear from his face as he began to sweat and slump over.  I immediately called for help to get him back into bed.  With his blood pressure continuing to drop, I decided to check it manually for accuracy.  I knew he was in trouble with a pressure of 55/30.  The man looked at me and asked, "Am I gonna make it?"  I could hear it in his voice how scared he was.  It frustrated me that I knew what needed to be done to help this patient, but there wasn't anything I could do to help him because I am not a nurse yet.  I decided to help him in the best way I knew how.  To give him hope.  And while I answered his question of life or death, I also answered my own question of success or failure.  "You're gonna make it." 

Playing the catch up game

I know that my excuses for not posting in a while are pretty lame.  To be honest, the last couple weeks of my life haven't been all that interesting.  And now I have to play the catch up game.
For starters, my aunt scored some free NASCAR tickets for the July 17th race at Loudon.  She asked me if Tony and I wanted them.  With it being my weekend off from work, we gladly accepted the offer.

Come to find out, our neighbor Randy also had a ticket to the race, so we all drove up together the night before.  It was a fantastic experience.  Tony and I had so much fun!

We hung out with an old friend and got to make some new friends.

And of course, Ryan Newman (driver of the US Army car) took the win.  Army strong baby!





Next up my list of updating is the phrase "birds of a feather stick together."  To all my friends in southern NH, I'm sure you've noticed the increasing number of hawks.  There's a few of them that have a nest in the trees across the street from me as well as behind my home.  So it's not uncommon for me to step outside and see them up in the sky.  Every now and again they will fly a little too low for my liking.  Before it starts to seem like I'm getting off track.. the phrase I just quoted does go with the fun fact regarding the creatures living around my abode.  When Tony was in the Army, his nickname came from his last name.  Hawkins was always shortened to Hawks.  Maybe that's why I find the actual birds to be such beautiful creatures.  One of them even left something behind for us.

Last Thursday, I had to work so my wonderful husband decided to go out and buy all the books that I need for nursing school.  The dilemma I have now, is how I'm going to carry all of them considering the fact that all together they weigh 40 pounds!  Which is half my weight!!

One of my other excuses for not keeping up with this blog, on my days off from work, is that I have been busy crocheting.  Yup, another lame excuse.  However, I did finish it last Friday.  And all three of my babies approve of it.

I'm currently working on a blanket for Tony, however, progress has been hindered on that project due to another project.  A couple days ago, the pressure relief valve on the well pump decided that it didn't want to work any more.  In other words, our entire garage was flooded with a good two to three inches of water.  On that note, I need to end this update here and continue to help Tony with the garage clean up.  Hopefully we will finish everything today!!



To all my faithful readers

I just had someone post on my facebook wall about the fact that I haven't blogged lately. I have an excuse. I've been too exhausted to blog. And on my days off I have been working on a little project of my own. I know these are lame excuses and I'm sorry. I have the next three days off after today and I promise I will give an update and some pictures of what I've been up to.