Until we meet again.

Another brief hiatus. My apologies. Aunt Marie's services were a bit of a mess. For starters, she looked awful and by no fault of the funeral home. She was always a well put together woman. Her hair was always colored and permed, she always dressed nicely and had matching jewelry. The woman in the casket just wasn't her. It wasn't the woman I remember as I grew up. But I guess after spending a year in a nursing home, I couldn't expect her to look like she used to. Her room at the funeral home had a lovely picture of her at the entrance, with the time of the funeral mass and the wrong location. It was all private services though, so everyone knew the correct location. The wake wasn't all that emotional. Atleast it wasn't for me. With it being the 6th death in 1 year for me, I don't think I have any emotions left. Not to mention her death wasn't at all a surprise for any of us. It wasn't an IF.. it was a WHEN. She lived a good life and her wish was to be with God. We all respected that.

The day of the funeral, my heart was pounding. I had never been a pallbearer before. With all the weight I have lost and how frequently I had gotten sick in the last couple months, I was unsure of my strength and the last thing I wanted to do was drop my aunt. I did okay though. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.. until we got to the church. When I looked out the car window and saw the 2 steep flights of stairs my palms started to sweat. It took a little bit of team work and muscle power, but we made it up. The mass was beautiful. The funeral procession to the cemetary wasn't a different story though. Tony and I were 4 cars behind the hearse and 2 cars behind the priest. When the car infront of us got cut off by an impatient woman I became furious. When she took a right down a side street, I couldn't hold myself back. I rolled the window down, stuck the upper half of my body out, and screamed obscenities at her. When I pulled myself back into the car, I realized that I probably shouldn't have said the words that I did, considering the priest was only 2 cars ahead and the fact that my aunt used to be a nun. When I spoke with my mom about it (who was riding about 3 or 4 cars behind us) she admitted to hearing me yell at the lady. Oops, the priest must have heard me as well. I'm sure I'm forgiven though.. I hope. When we got to the cemetary, the plot had already been dug up. However, my grandfather began looking all around. He turned back to the people from the funeral home and said, "This is the wrong plot!" Good grief. They told my papa that it would be taken care of. I hope it was. Because once she's in the ground, we'll never know.

Rest in perfect peace, Aunt Marie. Until we meet again. <3